The 39 Worst Words, Phrases, and Parts of Speech of 2013

The 39 Worst Words, Phrases, and Parts of Speech of 2013:

nevver:

• ”#.” R.I.P., early Twitter feature. We’ll bury you next to your friend, the FourSquare check-in.


• adverbs. Ban all adverbs. They’re mostly just gulp words, really.


• "all the things."


• "because [noun]": (i.e. “because science.”)


• “brogurt.” No.


• “classy.”


• "controversial tweet." There’s just no way to make this sound dignified, and besides, it leads to think pieces.


• "cronut."


• "crowdsourced."


• "derp." It’s been an emotional ride, but it’s time to send this one off on the ice floe.


• "disrupt." Luxury car apps aren’t disruptive.


• "Donald Trump is considering a run for…" No, he’s not. He just isn’t. And if you’d like to get him unearned publicity, you should at least get some stock options out of it.


• "doubled down." Unless the candidate did it while biting into a delicious sandwich, let’s just say the candidate “reaffirmed his/her position” on transportation funding or burrito drones or whatever we’ll be discussing in 2014.


• "…favorited a tweet you were mentioned in." No one has ever wanted to know this.


• "gaffe.” It’s going to be a long-enough election year as it is.


• "game-changer." What you’re describing probably won’t change the game. But if it does, would you want to spoil the moment with a cliche?


• "Guy Fieri." What if we all decided to just never mention him again? Would he disappear?


• "hashtag." This refers to the spoken utterance of the word “hashtag,” often accompanied by air-quotes. People can see you doing this.


• "hipster.” Wearing glasses is not something people do because they’re hipsters; it’s something people do because they’re nearsighted. People don’t drink hot chocolate because it’s a hipster thing to do; they drink hot chocolate because it’s literally liquid chocolate. Yes, I wrote “literally.” That’s what happens when you use a word so casually and carelessly in think pieces as to render it meaningless.


• "I can’t even." You can. Dig deep. Find your Kentucky.


• "impact." (When used as a verb.)


• "…in .gifs."


• "…in one chart." We’re aiming high in 2014. Two chart minimum!


• "listicle." This is the last one.


• "literally the worst." Actually, while we’re at it, let’s ban "literally." Literally is the "not the Onion" of fake things.


• "millennial." Young people are living with their parents because their parents’ generation destroyed the global economy. Next.


• "nondescript office park." As opposed to the Frank Gehry ones.


• "not the Onion.”


• "Rethuglicans, Repugs," "Republikkkans," "Demoncrats," "Dumbocrats," and every other variation thereof. Please just use the normal proper nouns; you can add whatever modifier you like before or after.


• "selfie." But what do they tell us about our society, in the digital now? Let’s ask James Franco.


• "Snowfall." (In the future, a high-cost digital production that doesn’t live up to the hype shall be known as a "Skyfall.")


• "the Internets." This was a George W. Bush joke or something, right? You can still use the Internet—just drop the “s.”


• "This Town."


• "thought leader." Mostly beaten out of existence, but don’t think we didn’t notice that Paul Allen interview, Wired . You’re on notice.


• #YOLO. Seriously.

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