Monday, July 6, 2015

Summer of theater/theatre

It’s harder than it looks and it’s at this time that I think to myself, “what the fuck is wrong with me, why would you willingly choose to do this?”

For being around people part of the time, people I like a lot, it is still very isolating, very lonely, and very hard. Also stressful. Very stressful.

The other people I work with have teams, lighting, video, stage management, scenic, etc. They’ve got teams that do tasks. Although I’m part of stage management, I don’t even spend time down in their office because I don’t really work with them. I have a desk in design, but I don’t really work with them either.

I’m just kind of an island.

I have a highly specific job that I do alone with barely any supervision. Much of my time is spent distantly separated from everyone else and also wondering, “is this right? Do I do it like this? Is this wrong? Am I doing a bad job?”

It makes you crazy. Like crazy, crazy. You start to have all kinds of insane thoughts and feelings about everything. Like your head is filled with nothing but jangly Christmas ornaments and firecrackers.

I’m getting into that crazy space completely.


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