Thursday, December 19, 2013

facts-i-just-made-up: edisons-elephant: facts-i-just-made-up: ...





facts-i-just-made-up:



edisons-elephant:



facts-i-just-made-up:



Col. Jack Reeves of the British Army holds up a tank while others fetch a replacement tread.


Col. Jack was known among the troops for his extraordinary strength and cool composure. Fighting on the German Front for most of WW2, he recorded 72 confirmed kills, almost 7 of them Germans. His aim was said to be sub-par but he remained in the service because of his talent for lifting heavy objects and throwing them at the enemy, or at least in their general direction.


In the midst of battle on May 9th 1945, Reeves threw two Jeeps, one boulder and two riflemen over the Berlin Wall, taking out an entire regiment of the Ring Deutscher Pfadfinderinnenverbände, and he went on fighting for several months after. As the war had ended on May 8th, Reeves was committed to the DCMH where he remained until his escape in 1949, when he threw a water fountain through the window and ran away. He was never seen again.


A memorial to Col. Jack stands in Boston in the United States, because neither Britain nor Germany wanted it.



Problems:



  • Jack Reeves was a serial killer, not a colonel.

  • The man in the picture is not Jack Reeves, nor is he holding up a tank.

  • If a soldier killed that many of his own men he’d be court martialed.

  • Nobody can throw a jeep.

  • The Berlin wall didn’t exist during WW2!!!

  • The “Ring Deutscher Pfadfinderinnenverbände” are the German girl scouts!

  • You got the mental hospital thing from One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest.

  • Why would this guy have a memorial???


I mean jesus…



Solutions:



  • Jack Reeves the serial killer is simply a different Jack Reeves from the Colonel, duh.

  • I assure you that the man in the photo is Jack Reeves and he is holding up that tank, I know because look at the picture.

  • I never said he killed his own men, only that under seven of those he killed were German. Jack Reeves is the only man to serve exclusively on the German front to have killed over 65 Japanese soldiers.

  • "Nobody can throw a Jeep," you fool you’re thinking of dwarves.

  • Well obviously the Berlin Wall didn’t exist but surely there were other walls in Berlin. Are you suggesting that in thousands of years of civilization nobody ever built a single wall in Berlin? There are walls in Berlin that would take your breath away.

  • I can’t believe anyone actually looked up “Ring Deutscher Pfadfinderinnenverbände”.

  • One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest was based on the life of Jack Reeves, obviously, it was directly adapted from his autobiography, “I Threw A Jeep Over The Cuckoo’s Nest”.

  • He has a memorial because he’s a fucking BADASS.


I mean horus…





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