The end of an era.

Well, here we are. Sunday before tomorrow’s opening of the Last Show of the season. I’m in the office here, alone, watching the video of last night’s tech and fixing notes in the book.

I’ve worked here off and on since 1993 (1993!) in various capacities. As an usher in high school, then with the infamous Lighting Designer Marty Aronstein, and then as an Equity stage manager. Now, I’m working as the SM who calls the follow spot cues which is a duty I split with another stage manager. I did 4 shows and she 3. We took over the job from a person who had been doing it for like 50 years.

So, I’ve moved up in the world I guess. But, what I simultaneously like and saddens me is the end of the season. Back when I accepted the offer in November, I immediately started panicking. I hadn’t been working here for 6 years so would I remember what to do? Would I be able to do it? Am I a fool/stupid/awful? Am I a talentless hack? Etc, etc. The usual cycle of fear and dread, mixed with panic and lying awake at night. So as my start date closed in, I got more and more fearful, more worried. I started thinking, maybe I’ll get a new job somewhere and have to back out, or perhaps they’ll fire me before I even start, maybe I’ll get hit by a bus and die and I’ll be off the hook.

Needless to say, I’m a little dramatic sometimes. A lotta dramatic, really. But, nonetheless, the summer is suddenly coming to a close in my mind. The end of the season essentially marking the end of summer as it always has for the last 20 years. This time in the season is very contemplative. We open tomorrow and most of the people I’ve spent the summer with, nearly all of them, move on to the next thing Tuesday night or Wednesday. The office I work in will be completely empty in 72 hours. It’ll just be me.

Of course, everyone isn’t gone, just all of the design team and design staff, the show crew is still here, the other stage managers, the crew, production management, etc. But it is a very surreal time. Construction is done after tomorrow afternoon and all we have left is a show that runs itself. It gets really, really quiet and all of these people I’ve been with will suddenly be gone. It’s a little like a breakup. Suddenly, all that you knew and were used to is gone and you’re alone. It’s fine, it is just funny to think of how many hours I’ve spent with these people and then … poof. The last of us, the minority of us, remain to shut the place down after another season. For a place that seats 10,000 people a night for 52 nights in a row, it’s a surreal experience to feel like an island.

Everyone moves on, time passes and soon we’ll hopefully all be right back here.

I spent all winter and spring saying, never again, I don’t want to do this. Then it started and I thought the same thing, never again. But of course right now I’m thinking… maybe one more season.

via Tumblr http://thenelsontwins.tumblr.com/post/57386639711