"so now you’re about to turn twenty and the world hasn’t gotten any bigger for you. you’re untouched,..."

“

so now you’re about to turn twenty and the world hasn’t gotten any bigger for you. you’re untouched, unloved, unprepared. your parents still pay for your gas. your friends all have internships. one of them even got cast to be in a movie. you’ve got all this talent that you don’t know how to share. you just want to fuck someone, anyone, to feel a little less like an island. the man at the McDonald’s drive-thru held both sides of your hand when he handed you your change and you cried the entire way home. skin burns. you’re about to turn twenty and you feel like you’re fifteen. you sleep for fourteen hours and still need a nap. the world is shrinking one empty heartache at a time.

you’re scared you’ll never find anyone to love you, not even well. you’ll settle for anything.

don’t.

you’re about to turn twenty and they never remind you how young that is. falling in love does not make you grow up, heartbreak does, and there is more than one way to fall apart.

you’re about to turn twenty and it’s okay if you aren’t ready. it’s okay if you aren’t ready. it’s okay.

”



- turning 20 | Caitlyn S. (via perfect)

Sounds a lot like 36.

Don’t be fooled by seemingly significant words. That which people vocalize in these fits of seeming introspection are sweet and adorable and honest but these feelings that you have at 15 and at 20 (25, 30, 35, etc) never go away. They never get easier.

They seem really impossibly new and fresh and your life feels like a raw nerve, but that is simply the life you have becoming your own, you becoming you which is important and special. I’m not being sarcastic. These moments where you feel lost and confused, alone and together, trapped and free all at the same time, these feelings aren’t something you can “deal” with. 20 year olds want to treat everything like school. Study and knowledge of the subject will make this make sense. The idea that time will heal these heretofore unknown feelings or that a good conversation will make all of this shit make sense and acceptable is a great way to try out your new skin. Soon rationalization won’t work. Things you spoke passionately of or felt strongly suddenly you could give two fucks about and things will seem meandering and foreign yet again.

The sucky thing is that you’re basically a raw nerve for the rest of your life. Growing up isn’t learning to let these feelings pass, thinking they will go away and in that digestion of feelings, through some kind of cathartic shedding of old selves you become stronger, it’s the taking that moment, realizing it, and moving on. Moving on because whether it crushes you or delights you this isn’t about a youthful nostalgia for that which once was, it is about living and continuing to live and finding ways to be happy day in and day out, one foot in front of the other as the cliche goes.

One day, cliches like that, one foot in front of the other, one day at a time, etc, these cheesy sounding cliches will make a whole lot more sense and are a lot easier to understand and take solace in.

via Tumblr http://thenelsontwins.tumblr.com/post/68621716255